Charlie Conder: Burnout

I don’t remember the exact year when I hit a wall in my spiritual life and discovered that I was burned out, but I think it was around year 13 of being in ministry. I would like to think that outwardly I appeared to be doing incredibly well. My student ministry was thriving and students were even bringing their families to church, I was getting asked to speak more outside of my circle of peers, and I had just finished out a year of coach training. But all of those “successes” were an illusion. Inwardly I was withering. I was empty. I was exhausted. I felt like there was very little to give to my family. I was dangerously tired and wanted to quit. I was reading to hand over everything I was involved in and just walk away.

I often think about the time we have on Earth and how the number of days we have is not promised. I want to aggressively love well with my time here, but the piece I keep missing is that loving well also includes loving myself. Taking care of myself has always taken a backseat to everything and everyone else in life. I know that I am a sturdy soul, but even a sturdy soul needs to be cared for. 

Every leader I am fortunate enough to coach and engage with feels wearier than they have ever felt before. To be weary is to be in a state where your entire body is depleted. Weariness is as much about your soul as it is about your body. 

So how do we replenish when we get depleted? 

I believe that replenishing takes intentional steps to find ways to tend to your soul. Here are some ideas for replenishing: 

• Have regular meetings with a spiritual director and/or a counselor

• Seek out coaching to help adjust your daily rhythm

• Find new forms of rest and recreation

• Carve out time for more relational connections 

• Find places that were created for soul care (you can email me for a list!)

While collecting over one million pieces of data, author Brene Brown found that the group of people who were the most compassionate were people who upheld their boundaries. It can feel selfish to choose yourself at times, but you cannot lead or love well when you are depleted.

Creating and living within boundaries can be difficult, but if you want to continue to live out your call for the next twenty years, then taking care of yourself is something you need to do! I encourage you today to take some time and find one way you can replenish yourself and find some refreshment. 

-Charlie