Undeniability 

You are one of the few human beings on the planet to whom other human beings willingly want to watch and listen. 

It should humble you. 

It should intimidate you to some degree. 

It should weird you out a little. 

And it should motivate you to be worth it.

When you think about it, the fact that a group of human beings would extend an invitation to a specific human being to use some mode of transportation to travel to wherever said group of human beings will be because that said group of human beings wants to willingly sit, watch and listen to another human being open their mouth and use orchestrated sounds and movements to paint pictures, tell stories, and transform hearts and minds is insanely fascinating in and of itself.

This year marks my twenty-fifth year of being asked to jump in planes, trains and automobiles and travel near and far to speak to other human beings. I will be the first to tell you: twenty-five years is very deceiving. I personally don't think I am that good at it. I so badly want to be better at it. I still get intensely nervous before I stand in front of anyone and do it.

To make matters worse, I am painfully introverted (a 4 with a 3 wing for you Enneagram cult members) so anytime I do stand in front of others to communicate, it is mentally, emotionally and physically exhausting — probably because I am having to flap my 3 wings so hard. I just want to run off stage, go home and read a book. But also exhausting because of something best-selling author and speaker Seth Godin frames well: when you speak, it is not you who is being judged. It is the value of what you are bringing to the audience that is being judged.

And there is where the tension lies. Why? Because value is relative. Like beauty, it lies in the eyes and ears and hearts and minds of the beholder. One way to grasp the tension: in our Orange Speakers orbit, where generally speaking, the majority of our audiences are faith communities, consider that on any given Sunday, whomever is communicating from the platform is more times than not having to navigate six generations in one audience.

That is why you should pray for your pastor. And cut her or him some slack. You’re wanting your pastor to press the gas about deconstruction, and grandma wants to hear about streets of gold and amazing grace.

In the words of the GOAT Michael Jordan to my friend Jim when Jim played him one on one time… “It’s a lot harder than it looks on television, isn’t it?”

So since value is so relative, do we just abandon that idea? No. Value is still incredibly important, but there is something I have learned that seems to help values cross bridges they normally couldn’t cross.

There is just something about someone who believes in what they are communicating.

Doesn’t really matter what they’re communicating.

Doesn’t really matter where they are communicating.

Doesn’t seem to matter to whom they are communicating.

There are even parts of how they are communicating that doesn’t seem to matter.

And it doesn’t even matter who is doing the communicating.

When someone believes in what they are communicating, regardless of what they are saying, how they are saying it, where they are saying it, to whom they are speaking to, or who is doing the communicating, their audience has a difficult time dismissing whatever is being communicated.

I call it being undeniable.

Yes: Clarity is paramount. Less is more. Me-We-God-You-We all you want. But few things are as uninspiring as a communicator who robotically checks all of the “how to communicate effectively” boxes while heartlessly exhibiting zero passion and believability. Heart and conviction cover a multitude of communicating miscues, even about things that are uncertain. Everyone may not believe what you say, but no one should walk away believing that you don’t believe what you’re talking about.   

So if we had a chance to grab a meal and wrestle with the art of communicating (something I would love to do with you, by the way), let me leave you with three suggestions that may prove helpful in becoming undeniable.

One, be most interested in having something to say, not the ability to say something. You and I should always be humbled by the fact that we get invited and paid to speak to other human beings, but if we don’t have anything to say, or if what we have to say isn’t more important than the fact that we get to say something, we are cheating the host and you can almost guarantee you’ll be deniable. I often joke that there is an easy way to keep an idiot busy: give them a microphone. You and I want people walking away from hearing us speak and saying “bullseye” not “bull&%$#.” Ask yourself: how much time are you investing in the substance of your talks?

Secondly, as soon as possible, find your voice and speak in it. A huge part of what makes someone deniable is that they haven’t quite found their own voice. Communicators who are undeniable are, most of all, themselves. Who they are off stage translates clearly onstage. There is no showy pretense or speaker-speak or drastic personality change. What happens when a communicator hasn’t discovered their voice or isn’t comfortable with their own voice? They mimic or echo other voices. Usually people they admire and learn from. It is an easy habit to start and a hard habit to break. Ask someone you trust: am I speaking from my voice from stage?

Lastly, and this one is interesting, but know that there are some audiences for whom you do not want to be undeniable. Yes. You read that correctly. I think there are some audiences for whom someone telling you “That was so good!” is not a compliment. Regardless of what happens on the front end, you will undoubtedly get invited to stand in front of an audience where what you have to say and what they want to hear are not compatible (note to self: It is really hard to hear from God when you’ve already determined what God is going to say). We should always desire most to serve every audience we speak to, but not at the expense of saying anything to be liked. It is OK to not be someone’s “cup of tea.” Ask others to be clear with you: who are the audiences for whom you best fit?

So, if I may repeat myself… 

You are one of the few human beings on the planet to whom other human beings willingly want to watch and listen. It should humble you. It should intimidate you to some degree. It should weird you out a little.

It should motivate you to be worth it.

But how undeniable are you?


Thank you for being anxious to matter.